Children – no one family is exactly like another
As a parent you will be keen to minimise the impact of your separation on your children, and you are likely to be asking, “How do I do this”?
Work with us to create a Parenting Plan, this is a plan to help you make arrangements for your children after you separate.
Once you and your partner have decided how you are going to separate and what this decision may mean for the children, you will need to talk to them. It will be important that you and your partner tell the children the same story, so as to avoid confusing them. It will also be important for you and your partner to decide how much to tell the children, and this may depend on their ages and how much of what has happened is “adult” information.
To do well and thrive, children of any age need a good relationship with both parents, and you can support this in many ways. However angry or betrayed you may feel by your former partner, it is important to show her / him respect, and try not to blame her / him in front of the children for what has happened. The break-up may be confusing for the children, and it will be more difficult if you are angry with their mum or dad in front of them. This may mean you have to swallow some of your own feelings.
So that your children don’t feel responsible for what has happened, do reassure them that this isn’t their fault and that they can’t do anything to change the situation.
How we can help.
- We can help you plan when, how, and what to tell your children about your separation.
- You can meet with our Family Consultant who will help you think about what is happening for your children and how to move forward.
- A Parenting Plan is a very valuable document, it will help you and your partner decide how much time the children spend with each of you, how the relationship with the school will work, and who is paying for what.
- Your child can see one of our specially trained Counsellors for one or more sessions. Our Counsellors use art or play for younger children who may find it difficult to put their feelings into words.
Thank you for helping us to put together our parenting plan, our arrangements have been much smoother and it has been really useful to plan the holidays for the next two years, the children seem much more secure and feel happy that we are able to go to their school events together.Alastair and Liz - parents of 2 girls under 12