Thinking about separation or divorce


“Everything we do depends for its quality on the thinking we do first” – Nancy Kline

Deciding to end your relationship or marriage can be difficult, even if the relationship has been strained for a long time. This decision to separate can feel even more of a struggle if you have children, whatever age they are. You may be in a situation where you keep thinking things will get better, and they never do, or perhaps you or your partner have had an affair. Relationship or marriage separation may be something that you don’t want at all, but still think may be best for your family. Whatever your situation, this is not an easy decision.

Thinking about separation or divorce

If your relationship has hit a tricky patch, you may want to consider couples counselling, or perhaps a trial separation.

Whatever you decide to do communication between you, as a couple is what is really important.

How we can help:

  • You can meet either individually or as a couple with our Family Consultant or Divorce Coach to decide whether separation is what you really want. If you decide yes, we are going to separate, and then we can help you think about how and what to tell the children.
  • You may benefit from planning a trial or an informal separation; this option allows you to separate in a managed way that gives you some space to think and to try to work on your relationship. This can be less overwhelming for you and your children, but does not carry any legal weight.
  • You can meet individually with our Family Consultant or Divorce Coach who can explore with you how and what to tell your partner. We can also facilitate a conversation between you and your partner if it feels too difficult to tell him or her on your own.
  • Separation is like bereavement, and working with a Counsellor either in the short or the long term can help you with the grieving process.

I am really pleased that I came to see you when I was first thinking about separating from my husband, you helped me think about how and what to tell the children and introduced me to a solicitor that really wanted to support an amicable way of working, I dread to think what would have happened if you hadn’t guided me through the divorce process.

Julie - mother of 2 boys under 10

Burgess Hill